Emo-tional

Pain pain pain .... i want to tell you how i feel,but im scared you will be angry.i know i always say things that give you some misunderstandings,but i dont meant that way ... i really dont ... why always misunderstood me and flare up ? eveyone has their past and its not pleasant at all ...

Maybe the things i need you can give,and the things you need i can provide,but ... how long can things last ? The support of my life ... the thing dont understand most is,inner or outer is more important now ... If you ask for my opinion,i will say its outer.Thats what i think because of whats going on around me that make me think this way ... Whenever you say inner,you really mind about their outer apperances more.I have a classmate,her name is angle,she is not skinny nor pretty,she gets insulted all the time because of her appearances ... If im a guy,i would accept her for who she is if her attitude is not so sucks or smoke or pierce so much all over her face == !
Frankly speaking,i do find her cute ... she always put on a mask to school,cheerful and stuffs.But nobody will know how much she has been through.I've been insulted for being a retard always ... even now,they just dont understand do they ? Yes,i dream in class and im hopeless,so what ? Due to such insults and look down,i lost self confidence in myself ... dont have the courage anymore ... Everybody puts on a mask of emotions.Motivate me in a right way and dont lose faith in me ... i really need motivation now ... Encouragement and not Discouragement ... Quarrel with my classmate weeks ago,the things they say really hurts me alot .... he said this,(erm thanks better than u. ur parent just have a daughter that dream in class and has no future in life erm maybe go pick rubbish ba. suit for ur whole frens and ur family) And he kept on saying my class position lower then his == irritating geek.Really makes me feel so ..... stupid == ! And yea,he say i ugly and stuffs because of my picture,he just dont appreciate emo hairstyles.Get a life nerd.My emo hair is fucking cool == ! After pouring out,i still feel like crying ... Thought of the past on how my fucktards boyfriend treated me.Just a doll ... need me and treat me fucking nice,dont need me then chase me out == ? Love you to what extend,how long more can i take it.All i know is,i have to cherish the things i have now,and that is you Marcus.You asked me to prove you wrong.So must you.I do love you alot alrights ? Dont get the wrong idea ok ... Yearned for you much i guess.Did not expect my silly dream would come true ... 121209♥Alex Tan this is for you.You fucking bastard fucktard asshole.Lies lies lies.everything is a lie !!! Excuses much huh ? Friends is your frist piority and not me.And you still have the cheek to say love me dearly,need me badly,give you the warmth of family because your family is broken.Everytime your schedule is booked by your friends.So must i like book you 1year earlier then the actual day ? Always give me false hope ... i feel like a retard.Because of you i almost died in a car accident.To hell with you ya' You told me i always let you worry about me,thats why your in so much pain and almost died of a panick attacks ? i only heard of heartattack and not Panick attacks.Maybe there is i wont know,i dont trust your words anymore ... Enough is enough ok ? You went overboard ... Im too foolish to trust you.When you dont trust me for all these while after i tested you.Dont i have the rights to test you ? And you call it a sick joke.I call that love you too much afriad to lose you.Idiot ass ....
To my beloved sister,jie dote on you very much actually ... its just that your not like you were before,your not that lovable anymore.I care,but you dont felt it ... You say bad things about me behind my back to your friend.Did i even say yours ? You go round telling people i bully you.The fact is you started everything.Remember the police incident ? when the policeman told me that i need to take you in hand properly and stuffs,i broke down to tears ... i really tried .... and you thought i was irritating.I hate it when people say i dont care about you or what.I did,just that you dont know.Or maybe i did it in the wrong way ? i dont know ... I really love you alot.Watching you sleep right now i feel like crying again ... i felt guilty.Im sorry i made you cry just now.You want to sleep with me but i dont let.Just tell me you dont want to be alone,no need to cry ... Whenever you cry i felt pain.Whenever we fight,you got injured badly by me ... Looking upon those bruise,i really felt bad ... what a bad sister i am i suppose ... my friends tell me i cant even take care of myself still want to care for others ... i dont care.As long as your my sister,i have the rights to care for you and stop you from taking the wrong paths.Loves you loads<3





Ended my sorrows
with a smile ....









Diana'